My Addiction Calendar

I'm struggling with an addiction, and I'm trying to kick it. Below is a day-by-day rundown of my progress. I'm gonna try to stay positive despite the possibility of this coming off as a downer kind of page..
Green means the entire day was clean, while Red indicates a day where i relapsed.

LONGEST STREAK (SINCE SEPT. 2020): 8 days
LONGEST STREAK (ALL TIME): 59 days

CURRENT STREAK: 1 day

[20sep2020] my current goal is to make through the rest of september. i will put absolutely everything i've got to ensure this happens.
[26sep2020] well, shit, that didn't work.
September 2020
MonTueWedThuFriSatSun
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930    


Streak 1: 8 days
Streak 2: 5 days
Streak 3: 2 days
Streak 4: 3 days
October 2020
MonTueWedThuFriSatSun
   1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031 


NO NUT November 2020
MonTueWedThuFriSatSun
      1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
30      


December 2020
MonTueWedThuFriSatSun
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
28293031   







My experience

DAY 1: [20sep2020] I feel disheartened, since I begun this month with a decent streak and am now seeing my progress vanquish before my eyes. I was stupid enough to put myself in harms way because the last few days were OK. I really need to buckle down again. I will see through to the end of September, so when October begins i'll already have a good start.

DAY 4: [23sep2020] I've been having a hard time with extreme urges. I've gotten to the point where I'm literally shaking, which I think is common for withdrawal symptoms, especially with substance abuse. I've really got to tough it out. I know I can make it a week.

DAY 1: [26sep2020] I talked with some people that are spiritually inclined.. and I now have a plan to avoid relapsing. Here's to yet another attempt at sobriety. I feel like shit, like there is no other emotion except for apathy and fucking rage





i dunno, here's some music that helps me feel somthin'